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6 Sexy Weed Strains That Will Make You Better In Bed

As you already know, everything feels really, really good when you’re high, like shoving fistfuls of Cheetos in your mouth, listening to sweet tunes, and even improving how sex feels.

This is why many of us tend to get a little frisky when we toke up, because simply put, smoking pot heightens our senses, making it feel goddamn amazing to touch and be touched.

So, we’re here today to address something you’ve probably been wondering for a long time: which strain of weed is best for sex?

Along with the insight of the folks over at Vertias Cannabis, a little bit of research pointed me in exactly the right direction to find out which strains of weed make for the greatest sex you could ever have.

1. Cherry Diesel
If you want to get faded but still have enough energy to have incredible sex for hours, this is the herb for you. Providing an instant energy boost, this sativa will make you euphoric and lively, and will definitely make you want to take your pants off and get weird. And likewise, she’ll want to take her pants off and get weird, too. Everybody wins.

2. Strawberry Cough
As the name implies, this is some of that real shit that will make you cough up a lung even if you’ve been smoking the dankest broccoli for years, which isn’t a bad thing. I heard through the grapevine that coughing gets you higher, so there’s that.

Strawberry Cough is a potent sativa blend, giving you a relaxing, tingly body high, while the cerebral, uplifting effects slap a smile on your face without rendering you a vegetable.

Want to have happy, tingly sex Snoop Dogg would approve of? Get lit with a bowl of this.

3. Granddaddy Purple
Thanks to its arousing combo of cerebral euphoria and a relaxing high, getting aroused after a hit or two of this indica is basically guaranteed, which leads me to say Granddaddy Purple is basically green (purple?) Viagra.

Generally used to relieve pain, stress, insomnia, and muscle spasms, those effects come together in the sack to lower inhibitions and make everything feel fucking incredible, making for some of the best sex you’ll literally ever have.

4. Sour Diesel
If you’re more of a “let’s bang like rabbits” type of guy, this is the sticky icky of your weed-fueled dreams. With “energizing, dreamy cerebral effects,” as Leafly points out, this sativa dominant hybrid floods you with an energetic and insatiable lusty desire, and makes every touch feel as if you’re being kissed by an angel.

5. Ultimate Trainwreck
For times you really want to get cloud nined and send your noggin on a trip to a different dimension, I recommend Ultimate Trainwreck. This high THC sativa will obliterate your mental clarity, but in a good way, while arousing your creativity and your junk. Good stuff, my dudes.

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If you and your special ladyfriend are down to get freakier than usual (hello, butt stuff) but are just a tad apprehensive, a little bit of this weed will melt away your inhibitions and shyness into sweet, sweet nothing.

Just a few hits of this grass and your rocket will be ready for takeoff.

6. Purple Princess
If I were to describe Purple Princess in one meaningful word, it would be daaank. It doesn’t take much for this strain to get you high as a pie.

This hybrid will make you feel euphoric, uplifted, and deliciously tingly from head to toe. And you know what that means, don’t you? Yup, sex will be a creative, euphoric, tingly erotic journey headed straight towards orgasmville.

Word to the wise: be careful when smoking this strain, because one hit too many, and your ass will grow roots into the couch and you might forget what sex even is.


Grape vines co-evolved with Pleistocene megafauna. Today, they thrive and produce fruit most abundantly when humans prune them aggressively. Grape vines do not produce fruit on old wood, so pruning is necessary for them to bear. In North America before man colonized the continent, mastodons were the stewards of wild Pleistocene vinyards. Grape vines covered many square miles of forest, especially during warm wet interglacials and interstadials. When Europeans felled virgin timber they also removed century old grape vines with 12 inch trunks–a rare site today but something mastodons must have encountered frequently. Young grape vines will colonize second growth and oftentimes reestablish themselves as a dominant component of the local flora. They are resilient plants adapted to being ripped apart and chewed upon by beasts such as mastodons and ground sloths. A herd of mastodons chomping down on a grape vine wouldn’t necessarily stamp it out of existence. Grapes not only produce seed-bearing fruit on new shoots, but they can also spread vegetatively. Vines growing on the ground get covered with leaves and forest litter. The buried vines then sprout new roots and new vines can spring up quite a distance from the parent. A mastodon could rip apart a vine, carry it or toss it many yards away, and if the vine got covered by leaves and moist dirt, it wouldl survive as a new individual. So even if no animals eat the fruit and spread the seed in their dung, grape vines will still spread like an unstoppable alien plant from a science fiction movie. By spreading vegetatively, they can even survive late spring freezes which prevents any fruit production.

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These grape vines sprouted from roots originating from vines extending from another grape vine that I’m growing on a fence. Pine straw shedded from nearby trees covered grape vines growing on the ground. Under the litter they sprouted more roots and then more vines. The city sent me a registered letter declaring this a code violation. It doesn’t seem like the government has the right to tell people how big plants they grow on their private property can get.

This is the after picture. I did clear up the contested area, but it felt like I was fighting a plant monster from a science fiction movie.

It’s no surprise that grape vine material was one of the plants found in fossil mastodon dung at the Aucilla River site in north Florida. Mastodons ate a wide variety of vegetation, and grape is a comparatively easy plant to digest because it is adapted to survive via rapid vegetative growth rather than poisonous defense. There’s little evidence of grape in Pleistocene pollen studies. Grape pollen is not widely dispersed, so when it is found, it’s assumed to have occurred locally, next to the actual site. Grape pollen was found to be abundant at the Sandy Creek Run site on Warner Robins Air Force Base near Macon, Georgia, but only for the last 7,000 years. It’s absent at that site before then. (The site has a pollen record from the present to 13,000 BP and from 25,000 BP-30,000 BP.)

Five species of wild grape grow in Georgia today and likely grew here during the Pleistocene, being abundant during interstadials and interglacials but limited to local relic status during cold dry stadials.

Summer Grape, pigeon grape–Vitis aestivalis

Supposed to be common in Georgia, but I’ve never seen one here. They resemble concord grapes in appearance.

Possum grape–Vitis baileyana

Supposed to be rare in state, but it’s the only one other than muscadine I’ve ever seen here. They’re a small black grape.

River grape–Vitis riperia

Considered uncommon in state. Another blue grape similar in appearance to Concord.

Muscadine grape–Vitis rotundifolia

Very abundant in state. I can almost always find this species growing wild in any second growth or overgrown vacant lot. Or my backyard where this sprouted up under an oak tree. The wild variety that grows in Georgia is a purple grape when ripe. Scuppernongs are a greenish/brown variety of muscadine, originally found growing along the Scuppernong River in North Carolina by early European explorers (Giovanni Verrazzano in 1504 and Sir Walter Raleigh in 1585). Cultivated muscadines are my favorite grape to eat, but I don’t ever buy them in chain supermarkets–they’re always picked too early and have no flavor. Instead I buy them at fruit stands or eat the ones I grow myself.

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These are my two cultivated scuppernong vines. They’re 20 years old.

Muscadines have tough skins and seeds but they’re the sweetest grapes and by far have the best and most distinctive flavor. Most grapes sold in the store, such as Thomson seedless and Flame Red, are bland by comparison.

Four varieties of muscadines grow in my yeard. Wild muscadines sprout naturally. One of the vines I planted is the original scuppernong variety which is excellent for a wild grape but not nearly as good as the improved variety that I planted next to it. I can’t recall the name because it has been so long since I planted it. The latter is bigger, sweeter, and not as tough. Last winter I planted a variety known as the giant black muscadine but it hasn’t produced fruit yet.

A cultivated variety of scuppernong is on the left, the original wild kind is on the right.

Experts say muscadines have no pests but this is not true. Yellow jackets and wasps will destroy about 1/3 rd of the fruit every year. Some years my vines have produced over a gallon of grapes, not counting ones eaten by yellow jackets. When picking, one must be careful not to grab a grape in which a stinging insect has burrowed.

Note the blue-winged wasp (Scolia dubia?) feasting on one.

I made good scuppernong wine once. It was dry, not sweet. I put a teaspoon of cinnamon in one bottle and let it age for a few years for the best spiced wine I ever drank. The muscadine wine sold in stores is terrible–usually sickeningly sweet and harsh. Young grape leaves are also a gourmet edible. Add 20 young grape leaves to stew with beef for a unique fruity but not sweet flavor. They can also be stuffed with rice, ground beef, or mushrooms.

Fox grape, winter grape, chicken grape, frost grape–Vitis vulpina

Considered an occasional grape in the south. It’s another blue grape like Concord. It doesn’t become sweet until frost when it begins to decompose.

Most supermarket grapes are descendents of crosses between some of the above mentioned grapes and varieties of European grapes–Vitis vinifera. Worldwide, all grapes are grown on American grape rootstocks which are resistant to a disease that wiped out Vitis vinifera rootstocks.

Peppervine and Virginia Creeper are also in the grape family. The latter is a tenacious vine too.